Mending Fences

 

As the Office Communicator dazzled on his desktop taskbar, signifying a new instant message, Owais had a glance @ d taskbar clock which told him the time to be 9:55 pm.

Sarkar, Snigdha : Aur kitni der tak tumhare naam k side pe green light jalegi:P

Haider, Owais : Kya karen.....work, has been postulated, by sum frigging assholes, 2 b worship:(

She always marveled @ his having a cheeky remark for almost every moment.....it was one of the reasons which had drawn her so steadfastly to him, one of the reasons why she missed their regular conversations so much, why she missed him, so much.

Sarkar, Snigdha : Now, isn't that rich coming from a workaholic like you:P

Haider, Owais : Duh....ye ilzaam to mat lagao:(

Karoge Yaad To...

Prescript:-  

This is a follow up from Amit aka Hopeless Romantic's When Love Signed On A Blank Cheque ... Please give it a read before reading this...it definitely is worth your time.

For the lazy ones, here's a summary..... Garima and Nitin were to be married but on the night before the marriage Nitin was struck by a celebratory bullet which killed him. Garima is left to ponder on her cruel fate.

 

  

She lives...I die

The despairing truth about being lonely is that it makes you recount the worst portions of your life. Away from the discordant noises of life on a whole, one gets sucked into recalling and reliving those moments...I am feeling very lonely now, so you can very well guess what I am reliving... 
 

She was an angel...an innocent and pure soul untouched by the darkness and malaise of life, the very epitome of goodness, the monument of love itself. I did not help fall in love with her but surprisingly (and wrongly) she could not help but fall in love with me. What she saw in me, I will never know.....What she gave me I can never express. She changed life...happiness no more felt an alien being, love was no longer some abstract shit. The days were resplendent with the existence of her feelings...the nights with the soothness of her being. An angel who nurtured my soul and laid waste her dreams to wish me bliss.....yes, she had dreams in her eyes, dreams which she cared for, dreams which she lived for...Dreams which I shattered.

There Will Be Blood...

A glass of red wine in his hand and a cigarette between his lips, he was lost in a reverie...of moments spent together under the night sky...of waking up and watching the red of the new dawn in embrace...of bare foot walks on unnamed beaches hand in hand...of the incessant whispering of those inane sweet nothings...of the crimson red of the blush which formed on her cheeks when he praised her beauty...of that dazzling red gown which he had gifted her on their first anniversary...of that breathtaking sight which she was in that gown...of that first night together in the throes of passion...of those countless bunch of red roses which he always brought for her...of the red of the blood which oozed from her hand when she pricked a thorn...of those promises made of togetherness forever...of protecting the flame in face of thunder...of keeping the flame of love alive forever.

Broken Desires

"Hello!!!"

"Hi...ssup?"

"Not much...how's the party going?"

"Good...yes, its going good."

(long pause)

"So...why didn't u come?"

"I had some work...sorry couldn't make it."

"You know you cannot lie na?"

"You know why I didn't come."
"Yes...you've been avoiding me off late."

"No...I'm trying to make things as they should be."

"Why can things not be how I want them to be?"

"Coz u deserve better."

"And who are you to decide what I deserve?"

"A friend...I think."

"Friends do not hurt each other..."

"Yes...but they do warn each other of wrong choices."

"Why the hell is my choice wrong?"

"Coz you desire something which you cannot have."

"Why is it so?"

"Because it is not within me to give you....it does not exist."

"I refuse to believe that it does not exist..."
"It did once..it does no more!!!"

03328320421 calling.....

A loud whrrring noise woke the dozing Ahsan up.....Ahsan, your typical boy next door, 22 yr old, Kolkata resident, engineering student, well mannered (atleast as well mannered as a self respecting engineering student could afford to be:D), has lots of friends and is fun-loving. Single, not desperate to mingle but wouldn't mind an encounter with love.

Waking up, he realised that the whrrring noise was his cell phone (in vibration mode) announcing a call.....Reaching out for it he secretly hoped it wasn't a close friend asking him to go out for an evening chill-out, he was seriously in no mood for that.

03328320421 calling...



One look at the number and a tizzy of emotions washed over him in an instant. Memories, look hoped to have been buried in a deep chasm rushed back to engulf him.....Emotions, long banished by the logical brain swirled back into an unnerving existence.....and unbeknownst to even himself, those whirlwind 36 days flashed upon his inward eye.

He had met her in the virtual world. One Monday afternoon, bored to death, a username caught his eye and he fired off an IM as any boy would.

Leosrule07 :- y r u hell bent on making the whole world diabetic:D
Sweetdreams4all :- bcoz being diabetic is better than having nightmares
Leosrule07 :- an interesting but mistaken observation
Sweetdreams4all :- how, if u care to explain
Leosrule07 :- for d simple reason k d effects of a nytmare may last 4 an hour @ max whereas u bcum diabetic 4 lyf:D

N so they kicked off a conversation which lasted for an hour and a half.....in the course of which he came to know Zeba, 19 year old B.Com student also from Kolkata, brought up in a secluded all girls environment, she has hardly ever talked with any boy casually.

More conversations followed with their duration becoming lengthier every time and they started to enjoy their tit-for-tat replies to each other...she was his "deer" and he her "mangy lion":D.....soon their "talk time" became the highlight of their day with both just waiting to log on. About two weeks from their 1st chance encounter in the virtual world, their conversation moved on the cellular world when Zeba called up Ahsan to cancel a pre-set virtual meeting.....She did not own a cell and was calling up from a public booth, the conversation stretched on to an hour and 13 minutes.....with the last 13 minutes constituting their 1st tiff as such reason being Ahsan's not liking her wasting so much money (he became aware of the public booth angle only an hour into the conversation).


That tiff just added to the growing feeling of connect that seemed to be engulfing both of them and just 4 days later on another phone conversation Zeba, unable to suppress her feelings anymore, ended up utterring that so-used phrase of the English language..."I Love You"...and so started a love story.


They couldn't meet coz there was no way that Zeba could go out of her house alone, in fact her calls to Ahsan were made in the borrowed time which she extracted from her tuitions. The next two weeks constituted two sightings of each other from across the road (wherein each tried to engrain the other in their inner eye) .....endless whisperings of sweet nothings in their 10 minute conversations.....feeling a sense of bliss every waking hour engrossed in each other's thoughts and their 1st "love fight" (which resulted in a sleepless night for both, shed tears from Zeba, unshed ones from Ahsan and ended with both saying sorry the other day blaming oneself for the fight).


03328320421 calling...

The loud whrrring broke his reverie and he received the call....." This is Esha from Reliance Communications, Sir...would you like to know about our......" the call tuned out as his mind went back to his reverie.....it has been 3 n a 1/2 months as of today since Ahsan last talked with Zeba.....she disappeared from his life without a trace and he had no way of finding her.....countless offline mesages and e-mails went unanswered.....it was as if he had lived a dream, a wondrous dream but reality struck back...n how harsh it was.....just then he realised how wrong his comment was about nightmares lasting for an hour @ max......"sweetdreams4all" had given him the worst nightmare of his life...a nightmare which he was living every waking hour of his life and would be living for he knew not how long...



Ever since every call on his cell phone from a 033..... (public phone booth number) evoked sharp memories and moments of gloom within, a painful reminder of what was, what could have been and what actually is.....as he pressed the red button on his cell phone to disconnect the call, he remembered a couplet which seemed just so apt...



"Woh na aaye, unki yaad aakar wafa kar gayi
Unse milne ki tamanna sukun tabah kar gayi
Aahat hui, socha asar dua kar gayi
Darwaza khola to dekha mazak hawa kar gayi"
{ her memories remain faithful to me, not she
wish of meeting her has destroyed my peace
a knock on the door, and I think my prayers have been answered
I open the door to see that it was just a cruel joke played by the wind }

Turning the corner...

He knew it. He finally knew it. Actually, he knew it since some time but was only now able to accept it. He was in love. Head over heels type. Always the one to scoff @ the "madly-in-love" breed of society, his heart had now throttled him straight into their domain. At a breakneck speed too, mind you! 38 days (yes, he had counted) back was when his heart had fluttered for the 1st time on seeing her. Well, actually he needed to thank Deep for his "she's damn beautiful" comment @ the lounge back then which fired up his senses to the extreme level (yes, a thank you card was in the offing for Deep).

And ever since that night @ the lounge he was a confused wreck. He started noticing her as he had never done before. Her small mannerisms became the staple of his consciousness. That twirling of a curl of her hair was something which now besotted him. Those freckles on her nose suddenly seemed so alluring. Her endless chatter seemed a lilting rhapsody to his ever willing ear drums. He now found her eyelashes beautiful, her pout started seeming sexy to him and her jaw bone became a piece of art. Her touch sent shivers down his spine; her laughter seemed a cacophony of jingling bells and wind chimes. That rolling of the eyes, those slight nudges to his shoulder, the waves of her hair, that curve of her lips, he noticed everything now. Yes, he was truly besotted by her...and madly in love.

He had to tell her. He could not and would not wait any longer. He wanted to share his feelings, wanted to make her his confidante in this exuberant joy of his, wanted to acknowledge his coming to senses and more than anything wanted desperately to hold her in his arms. He had wasted too much time shrouding his feelings behind the dogmas of realism and pragmatism. Best friends they had been for so long, it was time to effuse a new relationship. It was time to lift the veil, and lift it he would. It was time to pour out his feelings and desires, and pour out he would. There would finally be no more pretensions, only the truth.

It was 9 in the evening and knowing her routine as well as he did, he knew her to be @ her home. Hurriedly, he moved out of his house not wanting to waste even a single moment now. His happiness was just round the corner and he did not want to be in this lane of solitude any more. He wanted to encounter the bend and turn into the new lane of happiness.

Bouquet and champagne in hand, he rung her bell and waited for destiny to embrace him. He pictured her face turning a shocked expression as he knelt down before her, the shock turning to unbridled joy and happiness as he rolled out his pronouncement and finally the moment of bliss that he had awaited. He was shaken out of his reverie with the door opening only to flutter off into another trance @ her glance.

"My God Nik!!! I was just about to call you. How come you are here?", she rattled off in one breath. His reply died down in his throat when she shrieked unknowingly on viewing the bouquet and champagne..."Oh my, how did you know? Did Deep tell you beforehand? Damn it and here i was thinking of breaking the news to you myself." His enhancing confusion started to graduate to despair @ full throttle when Deep came into view behind her. "Hi Nik, budz u r ryt on time for the celebration...v just became a pair." An icy feeling gripped his senses, a nausea rose from the depths of his despair. Someone had just gone and yanked out feeling from within him as he became numb, uncomfortably numb. As she ushered him inside she repeated herself "But how did you know then?" He chanced a look towards her and their eyes met. In that instant he saw her, a picture of unbridled joy and happiness, basking in her moment of bliss which he had so wanted to be the forbearer of and he just shrugged "I just, knew!!!"

She had turned her corner but the path did not lead to him. His bend was not into another lane; rather he had just retraced his steps back to solitude. His path had been a full circle.

Blackboard's tale

I am black in color and I am not ashamed of it. In fact, I am quite proud of it. I have always found black to be “beautiful”. It’s like serenity and style packaged into one. I have been stuck here all my existence. Ever since I have glanced upon this world, it’s been while being nailed up here. I quite like it here actually for most part of light but it’s really that time I enjoy the most when everything around me embraces my color. The world is such a peaceful and silent place @ that moment. I seem to be far, far away from the sounds of chitter and chatter which I have to endure during the day.


Talking of the day, as much I despise it, it actually is not such a bad time pass for me. Of course, it’s not peaceful as the night but it’s an interesting change. Yes, I do have to endure the biggest irritant in this world to me, those white colored half-sticks which I have hate-named as “obnoxious gnomes”. I call them irritant coz they are not worthy enough of being called an enemy but trust me when I say this, I hate them like hell. These gnomes seem to have a divine right to scratch my body and make ugly marks on my smooth exterior. Yes, they are temporary marks but still I hate to look ugly even for a moment. I take absolute pleasure in the fact that these sticks get decimated and lose their existence in the process of creating these marks on me which I think is nature’s revenge for me. But they seem to reproduce exponentially. As soon as one of these loses its existence and becomes white granules, another comes up to take its place. They are a disdainful lot who deserve the utmost contempt from my exalted existence. They have colored cousins too who are only different in color to them. When it comes to their ability of scarring me, they are just as willing.


Giving these gnomes very tough competition for the dishonor of being called the “biggest irritant” are those two-footed, clothed animals which keep me company during most part of the day. The only reason they get booted to the 2nd position is because of a great service they offer me of which I will give a detailed explanation later. These hypocrites talk of equality and liberty in my presence, of caste and color having no importance, yet they have so ungracefully named me after the color of my exterior…*racists, all of them*…Coming back to these two footed animals, they are divided into two classes namely….1) those who sit with their backs to me who I have named “Maam-sir” and 2) those who sit with their faces to me who I have named “Boydent n Girldent”.


The ones who sit with their backs to me seldom sit actually. Most of the time they are a willing partner-in-crime to those gnomes in scratching my body and in addition to this crime they keep touching me with those tentacles of theirs…*perverts*…. However, I allow them this only coz they unknowingly offer me the thing which I crave for most but as I said “I’ll come back to that later”.

The ones who sit with their faces to me are far greater in quantity and much more interesting qualitatively. Of them I despise those the most who keep staring @ me unblinking with those two circular sockets at the top of their structures….*voyeurs*…. While their number is thankfully less, the act is despicable @ the least. The others however are far more entertaining. Some of them are amusing to the very core. From making all sorts of funny faces to sticking out a slimy parabolic structure from their mouth, from hurling objects @ each other to sometimes sticking their middle tentacle in the direction of the Maam-sirs, they do it all. Of course, they do this mostly when the Maam-sirs are busy scratching me but that’s besides the point. Some of the boydents keep staring @ the girldents and vice-versa….not that am feeling jealous here but are they more beautiful than me??? Neither are they as black as me nor do they have half as smooth an exterior as I have, but probably they are happy with staring @ less beautiful stuff. 


One reason that I like Boydents and Girldents is coz they sometimes engage in a sort of a game which gives infinite pleasure to me. I have named this game “Gnome-hurl”. Basically, in this game, the boydents and girldents hurl the “gnome” all over taking target practice @ each other. Ohhh!!! I tell you, its pure ecstasy seeing that irritant get thrown about @ will. My joy is unbridled when the gnome gets broken from its midriff…*poetic justice*…the least that it deserves in my view.


Let me now tell you about that great service which the two-footed animal offers to me. Unknowingly, they act as the linkage between me and my beloved. They are the unassuming facilitators of my love story. They are the ones who make my meeting with my beloved possible. The gnomes scratch me, the animals grope me but it’s my beloved who removes the scars. The “Scratch-remover” is what I have love-named him. I exist just to feel its touch on myself. When it comes in contact with me, not only does it remove my scars and scratches, but it completes me. Its touch is smooth and pleasant yet at the same time electric. My nights are never complete without it’s longing invading my thoughts. I endure those marks on my body only because they are the precursor to my rendezvous with my beloved.


That, in a nutshell, is my story.

P.S....This blackboard has had the fortunate/unfortunate honour of being stuck in an engineering classroom....hence "the middle tentacle showing" part...no offence meant to classrooms in general.