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Saturday, May 31, 2008

Blackboard's tale




I am black in color and I am not ashamed of it. In fact, I am quite proud of it. I have always found black to be “beautiful”. It’s like serenity and style packaged into one. I have been stuck here all my existence. Ever since I have glanced upon this world, it’s been while being nailed up here. I quite like it here actually for most part of light but it’s really that time I enjoy the most when everything around me embraces my color. The world is such a peaceful and silent place @ that moment. I seem to be far, far away from the sounds of chitter and chatter which I have to endure during the day.


Talking of the day, as much I despise it, it actually is not such a bad time pass for me. Of course, it’s not peaceful as the night but it’s an interesting change. Yes, I do have to endure the biggest irritant in this world to me, those white colored half-sticks which I have hate-named as “obnoxious gnomes”. I call them irritant coz they are not worthy enough of being called an enemy but trust me when I say this, I hate them like hell. These gnomes seem to have a divine right to scratch my body and make ugly marks on my smooth exterior. Yes, they are temporary marks but still I hate to look ugly even for a moment. I take absolute pleasure in the fact that these sticks get decimated and lose their existence in the process of creating these marks on me which I think is nature’s revenge for me. But they seem to reproduce exponentially. As soon as one of these loses its existence and becomes white granules, another comes up to take its place. They are a disdainful lot who deserve the utmost contempt from my exalted existence. They have colored cousins too who are only different in color to them. When it comes to their ability of scarring me, they are just as willing.


Giving these gnomes very tough competition for the dishonor of being called the “biggest irritant” are those two-footed, clothed animals which keep me company during most part of the day. The only reason they get booted to the 2nd position is because of a great service they offer me of which I will give a detailed explanation later. These hypocrites talk of equality and liberty in my presence, of caste and color having no importance, yet they have so ungracefully named me after the color of my exterior…*racists, all of them*…Coming back to these two footed animals, they are divided into two classes namely….1) those who sit with their backs to me who I have named “Maam-sir” and 2) those who sit with their faces to me who I have named “Boydent n Girldent”.


The ones who sit with their backs to me seldom sit actually. Most of the time they are a willing partner-in-crime to those gnomes in scratching my body and in addition to this crime they keep touching me with those tentacles of theirs…*perverts*…. However, I allow them this only coz they unknowingly offer me the thing which I crave for most but as I said “I’ll come back to that later”.

The ones who sit with their faces to me are far greater in quantity and much more interesting qualitatively. Of them I despise those the most who keep staring @ me unblinking with those two circular sockets at the top of their structures….*voyeurs*…. While their number is thankfully less, the act is despicable @ the least. The others however are far more entertaining. Some of them are amusing to the very core. From making all sorts of funny faces to sticking out a slimy parabolic structure from their mouth, from hurling objects @ each other to sometimes sticking their middle tentacle in the direction of the Maam-sirs, they do it all. Of course, they do this mostly when the Maam-sirs are busy scratching me but that’s besides the point. Some of the boydents keep staring @ the girldents and vice-versa….not that am feeling jealous here but are they more beautiful than me??? Neither are they as black as me nor do they have half as smooth an exterior as I have, but probably they are happy with staring @ less beautiful stuff. 


One reason that I like Boydents and Girldents is coz they sometimes engage in a sort of a game which gives infinite pleasure to me. I have named this game “Gnome-hurl”. Basically, in this game, the boydents and girldents hurl the “gnome” all over taking target practice @ each other. Ohhh!!! I tell you, its pure ecstasy seeing that irritant get thrown about @ will. My joy is unbridled when the gnome gets broken from its midriff…*poetic justice*…the least that it deserves in my view.


Let me now tell you about that great service which the two-footed animal offers to me. Unknowingly, they act as the linkage between me and my beloved. They are the unassuming facilitators of my love story. They are the ones who make my meeting with my beloved possible. The gnomes scratch me, the animals grope me but it’s my beloved who removes the scars. The “Scratch-remover” is what I have love-named him. I exist just to feel its touch on myself. When it comes in contact with me, not only does it remove my scars and scratches, but it completes me. Its touch is smooth and pleasant yet at the same time electric. My nights are never complete without it’s longing invading my thoughts. I endure those marks on my body only because they are the precursor to my rendezvous with my beloved.


That, in a nutshell, is my story.

P.S....This blackboard has had the fortunate/unfortunate honour of being stuck in an engineering classroom....hence "the middle tentacle showing" part...no offence meant to classrooms in general.


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20 eulogies: on "Blackboard's tale"

Ria said...

He he beautiful personification of the black board!i wonder wht cud b an alternate name for tht!? :)

comfortably numb said...

well...maybe one day i'll do a chalk's tale n an alternate name for blackboard will then come up...till then....happy wondering!!!

g-man said...

lol this was a bloody riot. nice idea. being an engineering student myself, i kinda understand what you're talkin about. unfortunately, the er...boydents and girldents in my class are near-perpetually in a physical state termed as 'mass bunk' so we treat our board with respect :)

comfortably numb said...

@above
mate...i was talking of one of those absolutely must do yet boring classes...am sure u knw what i am alluding to...

comfortably numb said...

aww well...lets just assume the blackboard doesnt get to know when it's a hols n when it's a bunk!!!

Beauty and the BEast said...

If I were a blackboard, I would let you scratch my back without taking offense :p
Only because of this brilliant insight!

comfortably numb said...

@wian
agree wid u @ the cost of being not so modest.

@beauty and the beast
i'd rather wield the "scratch-remover"...dear
i knw for a fact tht the blackboard in u wud find it more pleasant than getting scratched...:D

behind brown eyes... said...

i never realized i was doing such favours to the board (i am not racist!) by chucking chalk pieces around!!! if only teachers would agree!!!
very well written and funny! :)

comfortably numb said...

@above
thnx 4 d appreciation
gr8 2 see tht already ppl are refraining from "racist" remarks :D:D
btw...i knw sum teachers who used 2chuck gnomes @ unattentive boy/girl dents...

solo said...

really really nice.
i never really paid much attention to blackboards so far, bt this really gt me thinkin!

comfortably numb said...

@aayushi
comments are well appreciated!!!

@solo
thnx...n since it got u thinking, i hope u'll start calling it just a board now n start chucking chalks with far more regularity!!!

Puneet said...

hey pal..u btr atleast now give a go..@ the tales of the "obnoxious gnomes". its almost been a year since u said u might give it a try..

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