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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Fear Psychosis

They say our society is degrading...that we are losing our cultural and societal ethos...that we are so fueled by our materialistic needs that relations and friendships are being thrown off the wayside...that the young have drifted away from the rich cultural heritage of our civilization and are giving newer and uglier definitions to the terms love and respect....and I have given more than my share of staunch rebuttals to these allegations time and again...citing the points that that pining for materialistic gains is actually just a way of making life more comfortable...that we are in fact hard selling our cultural and societal ethos rather than degrading them...that inspite of our lust for $s, it's love that we all crave for....however, all these views received a jarring slap yesterday in the light of a comment by a simple, illiterate man who earns his livelihood through sheer hard work and is striving to make a better life for his children.


The man in question is a tea-stall owner and an acquaintance of a friend. This man has 4 sons, all of whom he has admitted in a good English medium school in view of giving them a quite decent groundwork to excel in life. During our casual conversation over a cuppa, he remarked..."u know beta, my son tells his mother to come well dressed to school to pick him up...says that her modest clothes make him feel ashamed in front of his friends." All of this the poor soul said with a smile on his lips, even a hollow guffaw followed...but in his eyes I saw the real meaning of his casual remark...I saw fear...fear of being unwanted by his own children once they roamed greener pastures, fear of having an uncared for old age, fear of paying the price for his modest upbringing. This fear of course has been embedded in his heart by actions of other young people that he has seen/heard.


Maybe such actions are aberrations rather than being the norm, maybe it was just a childish statement from the child in question...after all, young minds are highly impressionable...maybe the child would in due time understand that it's not the clothes that his mother wears to his school that matter, rather the sacrifices and hardships that his parents are undergoing to send him to school in a "clean dress" that matter utmost...maybe the child turns out to be the epitome of respect that parents deserve...maybe...we all wish so for everyone....but till that day a deep fear will linger in the minds of his parents...that question will continue to hound their waking hours and haunt their dreams....and it's this fact which belies me to question "Are we guilty of the allegations that *they* shove on us?"


RED HOT SONG OF THE MOMENT:- Yaad Teri Aaye from the movie "Ugly Aur Pagli"....check it out!!!


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35 eulogies: on "Fear Psychosis"

Whats in a name.......... said...

i guess peer pressure and the want to be accepted , the fear of being rejected is making young people artificial!!
the fear of the tea stall owner is justified, however, if he has faith in what he has taught his son all these years, his son, sooner or later will surely be proud of his parents and not ashamed of them.

Ferrin B said...

so true...but one day the child will understand....one day when he himself becomes a father....

but one day surely he will know...but if only he knew now...

Metrosexual Monk said...

that was very moving.

agree with whats in a name, his children are going to be exposed to the real world vice sooner or later; and peer pressure is one of them.

but once the son becomes smart enough to come to a realisation at some point, that it was his father's upbringing that made him,
it will be enough to compel him to respect and be proud of his parents and how they struggled to provide them with a much better life for him and his brothers.

and as for the man, I really feel for him. Imagine working your ass off all day for his sons' future and then suddenly facing such remarks from his very own son,
which I think he wouldn't have come to terms with before.

Anindita said...

Life isn't easy.. Every day is a struggle and every moment a hardship.. The fear the tea stall owner reflects is very valid.. I just hope and pray that they don't come true..

Cheers. ^^

comfortably numb said...

@ferrin b
alas dear...some children are so insensitive that they dont even consider sending their parents to old age homes as misdeed...

comfortably numb said...

@monk
yeah man..hoping is what the man can do
n yes..imagine his predicament
btw..welcome to my space

comfortably numb said...

@anindita
Every day is a struggle and every moment a hardship.....well said
n yes..fingers crossed for the man

Keshi said...

children can be forgiven...but if they continue to do that when they r adults, then there's something seriously wrong.

peer pressure can make kids behave like that ya know. I can identify with that. I rem when I was abt 6yrs old, I wanted my mum to look good when she came to pick me up. but now, I dun care what my mum looked like cos i KNOW that humanity and love is more imp than just looks.

Keshi.

Sach said...

Hats off to you for writing this!
I think the man fears right. His son is doin' things which I totally say are *wrong* and someday when he will face the realities of life, (most of 'em being harsh) he will realize what it takes to be a good Man that includes being a good father, a good son too.

d SINNER!!! said...

it is not actually the fault of the child too, he is a child and indeed carries an impression of what he sees , hears and naturally he wants his 'mom and dad' to turn out the best as they would like him to tun out the best...

indeed, its a complex thing, so many factors that weave into one...but for th old man, he shudn't loose faith in his son ever...and that wud certainly live on..

comfortably numb said...

@sach
well said...but i am willing to give d child d benefit of doubt of being a child!!!

Sach said...

in that case let's wait till he grows up! I just hope things get better...

comfortably numb said...

@sach
v all hope so...not just fro this man but for all parents facing such a predicament!!!

Sach said...

arre i was on different google acc. n i thot u might get confused wid sach n sachi :)
cant take chances

MAN IN PAINTING said...

a tragic day awaits every parent.It is that moment when we realise that we are no more a part of yheir lives..
When it happens to those who are poor,in a sense,it will mark the end of all hopes in their lives too.
very very good posts.
need more such posts..
wishes...

comfortably numb said...

@m.i.p
i think its tragic for anyone to get a feeling of unwantedness, let alone parents!!!

comfortably numb said...

@solitaire
sorry if it brings back painful memories...only hope that u have rectified your mistake in saying such things...
btw...welcum 2 my space!!!

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